1. If Fox News were covering this story…

I like whale news. This is like my fourth whale in the harbour news story since I started doing the Saturday Examiner. But since coming to the US, now I see I’ve been covering these seemingly innocent stories ALL WRONG.



A group of tax-paying good white tourists escaping their Muslim and foreigner overrun socialist countries in Germany and Switzerland were accosted on Wednesday by a dangerous thug whale previously known to officials.

Whale mugshot by
Whale mugshot by

The whale, who brands himself “Killer” (no doubt a reference to his previous criminal record) was likely on parole granted by soft-on-crime bleeding heart liberals. This whale, who is clearly black in photographs taken at the crime scene (oh, sorry, PC liberals, I mean African-Mammalian) is recognizable by a distinctive white tattoo by his dorsal fin, which authorities say represents his gang affiliation with his “P.O.D.” which I am informed stands for “Plankton Posse On Drugs.”

The Ebonically named Ol’ Tom (thanks to our public education system and their “diversity” curriculums) has been terrorizing the Nova Scotian coast since he was a juvenile in 2006, demonstrating the ineffectiveness of so-called restorative justice programs on hardened teen thugs who receive a slap on the wrist and a vacation at some sleepaway cupcake marine camp at the cost of decent tax payers.

Did this killer whale get lost after attending illegal thug immigrant “festival” (actually a summit for Jamaican gang leaders and marijuana pushers) Caribana in Toronto? This is multiculturalism gone too far, yet of course brainwashed “progressive” Canadians will argue for the “cultural value” of shootings and sex orgies and polygamous dolphin promiscuity in the street in this so-called parade.

Ol’ Killer is now traveling with a “crew” of over 200 dolphin associates in crime, who, our gang expert tells us, he has likely “made his b*****s.” The whale was overheard addressing male members of this dangerous roving gang of homeless drug addicted dolphins as his “d-words,” yet whales complain when humans use these so-called “marine slurs” showing that humans are the only group of mammals it’s okay to oppress these days.

While I’m sure this confused whale will be celebrated for apparently thinking he’s a dolphin by family hating corrupt sex addicts intent upon converting our children to homosexuality, it is obvious he was born a whale and is not “dolphin identified.” No doubt this whale was “raised” by a single mother as whale society is known for absent fathers and so-called “matriarchal” families which remove the man from his rightful position at head of the family. Good job Feminazis!

Planned Parenthood whale Feminazi propaganda from
Planned Parenthood whale Feminazi propaganda from

While radical environmentalists and communist traitors welcomed the illegal immigrant whale and his gang of degenerates, don’t let these ideologues intent on propagating the scam of “global warming” fool you with their appeals to “the wild” and “nature.” Perhaps influenced by his thug NFL and rapper brethren, the killer taunted the white tourists, brutally ramming their boat, and then “rolling on his side” in a dance move popularized by gang infested hip hop culture. “Rolling’ is of course a reference to “molly” a club drug beloved by these ocean miscreants and popularized by rapper-loving “Prez” Obummer.

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Experts say the jobless whale was likely terrorizing Nova Scotia because of our luxurious welfare benefits. Drug testing recipients of food stamps and publicly shaming them would make our oceans less attractive to lazy whales who don’t want to work when they can suck fish out of our oceans with no consequences.

When will Canada-loving Canadians build a wall in the ocean to stop these terrorists from destroying our society? I know I voted for Jason Kenney to deport these terrorists from our waters. Clearly the only solution is to build more tanks and expand the SeaWorld industrial complex so these whales can be kept behind glass where they belong.

2. Cape Breton news that isn’t about Chase the Ace

“The Cape Breton Victoria Regional school board has banned dances at the middle school level.”

Can’t have dances, can’t have a railway, what can you have in Cape Breton, goddammit?

Basically, to summarize the story, teens don’t get to have dances until high school now because some American consultant (who was probably paid over two days what resource room assistants and support workers make in six months) came to Cape Breton and said so.

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I bet if a Saudi Arabian or Iranian education expert came and told us how unhealthy dances are we wouldn’t be so quick to ban them.

According to the article on, “The board made its decision based on the advice of an Ohio expert on middle school curriculum, Dru Tomlin, who visited the area this spring.”

A very big part of middle school is building up positive camaraderie, cohesion and a positive school climate, ” said Donnie Holland, the board’s acting co-ordinator of school services.

“He (Tomlin) talked about a lot of the activities that they have done that have built that type of atmosphere and he kind of led us down the path that school dances at a middle school level weren’t a great way to achieve that.”

Can’t they just wear Maple Leafs on their shirts to dances like the military/Toronto Maple Leafs? Seriously though, “positive camaraderie and cohesion” sounds kind of ominous, like “you’ll conform and you’ll smile while doing it!”

It seems to me that the problem with dances is that maybe the kids might listen to pop music/the dreaded hip hop, and girls might wear spaghetti straps or something, and there might be some “sexy” dancing. Given that our schools make a habit of banning leggings and generally slut shaming teen girls, it’s hard to see this ban on dances as just about creating a “positive school climate” and not about policing and repressing (particularly female) teen bodies and sexuality. This seems to be about people being uncomfortable with 11-12 year olds doing something supposedly “adult” like listening to music and dancing. 

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The argument generally is that kids, especially girls, are under pressure to grow up too fast and to copy adult sexuality before they understand their own bodies, and there certainly is truth to that. However, I’m not sure the best solution to that is simply banning opportunities for young people to explore their bodies and relationships in a relatively safe and controlled space with adult supervision. Kids are going to copy what they see in the media and online and in ads and magazines and in videos and from older siblings, and they’re going to want to dress and look like Kylie Jenner or whatever celebrity, and so it seems to me that schools need to talk with young people about dating, and their sexuality, and the pressure to “look good”/”look sexy,” not just infantalize teens and have dance abstinence programs or whatever.   

The suggested “alternate social gatherings, such as pep rallies and athletic events” sort of sounds like this quasi-Victorian idea that if the kids are kept busy with sports and the outdoors and “healthy” activities, they won’t be thinking about scary things like sex. It’s like the Junior Anti-Sex League in 1984:

They want you to be bursting with energy all the time. All this marching up and down and cheering and waving flags is simply sex gone sour.

Because nobody ever gets bullied or suffers peer pressure or unhealthy body image around sports. 

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Wait, but this pep rally has dancing! I’m confused! They should probably just car surf instead of going to dances.

Dru Tomlin, according to his Twitter profile, is “Director of Middle Level Services for the Association for Middle Level Education, passionate about learning, leadership, and literacy!” 

Note: sample tweet from this literacy promoter: 

UR a nice guy 4 letting some1 else exp #AMLE2015! If U can stop by the C’bus Convention Ctr during the conf, plz do!

— Dru Tomlin (@DruTomlin_AMLE) September 25, 2015

According to the AMLE website, their partners include America’s Promise Alliance:

Founded by General Colin Powell, America’s Promise Alliance is comprised of corporations, nonprofit organizations, foundations, policymakers, advocacy groups, and faith groups.

[emphasis added]

To quote an American friend who worked for years against school privatization, “Ain’t nothing more you need to know than that! They should be mocked and fought without mercy.

Another AMLE partner is the National Blue Ribbon Schools Program. David W. Kirkpatrick argues:

…That criteria for the awards do not take into account the socioeconomic status of the students and that studies show that students who come from homes with higher income and better educated parents do better than students without these advantages by virtue of their backgrounds. Thus, the award is usually given to schools with students from wealthy backgrounds.

According to the book Punishing Schools: Fear and Citizenship in American Public Education by Bill Thomas Lyons and Julie Drew, the 33 members of the blue ribbon task force in 2004 included “four government tax experts, eight politicians (only three of whom are on education committees,) twelve business lobbyists, five upper-level school district managers, and three teachers.

It’s difficult to find much information on AMLE, but even from this cursory look into their partnerships, there seems to be ideological and business interests worth investigating further before we import these policies and “experts” into Canada. This article by Bruce A. Dixon provides some background on school privatization and its devastating effects on Black communities in the US.

This story is being reported as “it’s like Footloose!” but if these policies are driven by the undermining of public education, the attack on teacher’s unions, the privatization of schooling, and the further disenfrachisement of poor and racialized children, we should be giving these “experts” a much closer look.

PS. This website is hilarious!

Dancing is just as sinful at high school proms, ballrooms, town gatherings, etc. Dancing and immodest dress are synonymous. Dancing leads to lasciviousness (i.e., immoral sexual desire). The ONLY place where dancing is acceptable is between a husband and wife in the privacy of their own home, and without observation by others. America has deteriorated into a sexually perverted nation, where sensual and suggestive dancing is commonplace. As a result, millions of unwanted babies continue to be murdered every year through abortion. This is a great evil in America! We have earned the title from Muslims of being THE GREAT SATAN.

“Even bally [HAHAHA!  Ball-y dancing!] dancing is sinful, VERY SINFUL, because the women dance in their underwear, giving explicit views of their body. Those women who dance while skating are filthy. It is offensive to God. Bally Dancing is sexually arousing and; therefore, extremely sinful. The same people who scoff at my preaching are the same people who have no problem with abortion, divorce, nor fornication.

Tragically, most cheerleaders are dressed sinfully and often perform sexually suggestive dances while cheerleading. Although seemingly harmless to most people, it is such indecent practices as immodest cheerleading that corrupts societies’ morals and leads to more sexual crimes. 

Cheerleading can be done properly; but, a woman’s legs should never leave the ground, let alone wearing miniskirts. All miniskirts are sinful, and should NEVER be worn by any Christian woman. It hypocritical and clear evidence that Catholicism is of the Devil, that their school girls are dressed in miniskirts (i.e., official uniform). It is evil. You’ve got priests who aren’t allowed to be married (which is totally unbiblical, 1st Timothy 4:3), and then those same priests are surrounded by girls in miniskirts. No wonder there are so many perverts in the Catholic Church!”

3. Plow-OW!

Okay, I know it wouldn’t be funny if it were my property damaged, but the list of snowplow carnage in this article is kind of hilarious. The graphs accompanying the article are everything.

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Re-enactment of snow clearing in Halifax.

I have to quote this section in full:

Snow-clearing crews damaged a power generator at Scotia Square, broke a window at a Subway restaurant, bumped into retaining walls, damaged a phone box and fire hydrant and downed traffic signs, according to damage reports.

Plows hit buildings, tearing siding and tiles off walls, and damaged canopies, shutters and steps.

 Residents reported that plows tore mirrors off their cars, scraped, dented and scratched their vehicles, and one even complained that a plow smashed a car window and made a hole in the roof.

Beloved trees and bushes were not immune to injury under their blankets of snow. Residents complained that trees and hedges were knocked down or ripped out of the ground, and damage was inflicted on their lilacs, rhododendrons and crabapple trees, among others.

One resident reported a damaged garbage can lid.

image from
image from

The only thing that could make that more Canadian is if a plow driven by Sidney Crosby and Nathan Mackinnon hit a Tim Hortons.

City Spokeswoman Jennifer Stairs (not related to any of the damaged stairs reported to the city) notes that “damage is not considered when deciding which contractors receive snow-clearing work from the city.” Next year, “more areas of the city will be cleared by fixed-cost contractors in an effort to reduce the cost of hourly based contracts.”

The article notes that “About 37 per cent of the incidents happened in areas plowed by the municipality and the remainder were in areas cleaned by contractors.”


Autobots and Decepticons ain’t got shit on our snowplows.


(Commentator Pleasethink: “Optimus , stay off the black rocks!” Also there may be a terrorist whale lurking in the ocean with a shit load of dolphins.)

4. Dal “The Trap” Housie

This is basically Dalhousie right now:

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Hey, remember when homeless people were getting all the blame for the South End being dangerous? Remember when people talked about “Got a gun” street? Remember how everyone blamed all the drugs and crime on North Preston? Now every day it seems like there’s news about the South End.

Won’t the white community speak out against white on white crime? Where are the moderate whites who condemn this criminal activity? Is white culture to blame? Maybe the city should ban St. Patrick’s Day celebrations and Mooseheads games. White people should stop blaming the government for all the problems in the white community and take some personal responsibility. If white people can’t be trusted to live in the South End without ruining it, then maybe they should be relocated. The problem is white parents. If white people want to live in this country they should learn to act civilized or go home.

Oh wait, no, that’s only the commentary when it’s crime by Black people, immigrants, Muslims or “other” people. Carry on, South End, carry on.

5. This comment says it all

Dr. Michael Gross, a former president of the District Medical Staff Association for Capital Health, estimates it will take $700 million to rebuild the VG:

“The VG is an outdated institution, everything in it is past its due life — the pipes, the electricity, it has asbestos in it, it has legionella in the water supply and yet we house our most vulnerable patients there.”

In a press release, PC health critic Chris d’Entremont noted:

“In the past two years we’ve seen bedbugs, a mice infestation, contaminated sterilization equipment, and burst pipes at the VG.”

As commenter cheifwiggams dryly points out on the CBC article,

Good thing we invested in a“conference center!”

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1. Cranky letter of the day

From the Pictou Advocate:

To the Editor:

In Wednesday, September 16, 2015 edition Peter MacKay was visiting Bridgewater campaigning for the local Conservative candidate. The article states that this is the second time he has been in the area propping up one of the kids in short pants from the PMO. I guess when you just got off your tricycle you need some support.

To my knowledge, MacKay is still an MP and in receipt of his salary (including his Justice Minister stipend). Has he re resigned as a MP? If not, who is paying for his “visits” to Bridgewater and elsewhere? Taxpayers? Are the taxpayers also picking up his per diem for time spent pressing the flesh?

In 2011 Mike Duffy went all over the country (including a stop in Chester at John Risley’s fund-raiser for Gerald Keddy). The “Old Duffster” charged the senate for his expenses while working on Harper’s campaign. It appears Pictou Pete has learned from the best and is doing the same in 2015.

I trust the editor of this paper will chase down the details of the Pictou MP working for Harper and not for the constituents of his riding.

Darrell Tingley, Chester, NS


In Thursday’s Morning File, Tim said of Councillor Jennifer Watts that, “Even though she uses two spaces after a period, Watts has brought a much-needed informed and progressive voice to council. Her even-keeled temperament is infectious, and she seems to have almost single-handedly improved both the quality and tenor of debate at council.” You may not know this, but Tim spends like half an hour going through my Morning Files to erase my double spaces after periods every week.  MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA Tim! WE ARE LEGION.


[Editor’s note: for a thorough discussion of why two spaces after a period is worse than 14 Hitlers and three Pol Pots combined, read “Why you should never, ever use two spaces after a period.”]

El Jones is a poet, journalist, professor, community advocate, and activist. Her work focuses on social justice issues such as feminism, prison abolition, anti-racism, and decolonization.

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  1. When you are editing someone’s work and you need to get rid of those annoying extra spaces, it’s easy in MS Word. Just use the control-H “search and replace” function. It takes seconds. I do it all the time.

  2. What I find fascinating is that we’re importing American “experts”…..3+ faculties of education in this province, paid for by taxpayers already, but we’re paying Americans to come up here and give us advice on our schools??


    Also economically stupid. When you pay money out of the provincial economy for advice like this it’s money lost to the provincial economy that must be replaced. Plus, it’s quite possible that our “internal experts” wouldn’t even want the same level of reimbursement. Just saying….

  3. Retired CUPW representative complaining about a political opponent; I’m shocked.
    I think the MacKay ‘per diem’ is paid from the same source as the Mulcair ‘per diem’ and the Trudeau ‘per diem ‘.

  4. I learned to type on a typewriter, and subsequently used two spaces after a sentence for decades before learning that it isn’t necesssary. It was the excellent Butterick’s Practical Typography guide that finally convinced me.

    His guide has a whole list of bad habits you may have carried over from the days of typewriters:

    Really, the whole site is worth reading through if you’re interested in improving how your words look (and thus how effective your argument is).