John’s Lunch sucks and other inflammatory comments: New company & society registrations

Pandaopossum Creativecreations 
Clarks Harbour
Nature of business: “Creating digital artwork such as character design, business logos, tattoo design and traditional artwork such as sculptures, drawings and paintings.”
Partner: Tierney Greenwood
I don’t know why Greenwood’s logo (above) spells Opossum without the “O” that’s in the registered name.

To Go Fast Fresh Food
Middle Sackville
Nature of business: “Healthy food served fast.”
The business is registered by Supple Fresh Food Incorporated, which was registered in 2015 by Jeffrey Supple. On his Facebook page, Supple describes himself as the operations manager at Pete’s Fine Foods and an owner of Pete’s ToGoGo. I’m guessing he struck out on his own after Pete’s was bought by Sobeys. No business location is noted.

Dormie Golf Workshop, Inc.
Halifax
Directors: Jeff and Todd Bishop
Dormie has switched from a partnership to a limited liability corporation. The Bishop brothers are PGA members and golf instructors who make “really cool covers” that go on golf clubs. They were the subject of a ridiculously fawning article written by John Demont in the pre-strike Chronicle Herald days as a piece of Mark Lever’s “Now! Nova Scotia” series (the exclamation point is supposed to make you excited), “which examines — in the wake of the Ivany report — the challenges and opportunities faced by our province in today’s economy.” Wrote Demont:

Starting a business, let’s face it, has never been really easy in Nova Scotia. As Ray Ivany’s One Nova Scotia commission underscored, there’s seldom been a time when we need homegrown enterprises in this province as much as we do now.

Their report calls for a 50 per cent increase in startups in Nova Scotia. Exactly how to make it happen, of course, is the million-dollar question.

One thing is certain. We could do worse than support folks like the Bishop brothers. For a variety of reasons, they are exactly the kind of company Ivany hopes will lead us to a more prosperous future.

They export. Ivany has called for a 50 per cent increase in the number of companies that sell their products outside the country.

They are innovators.

They are also the kinds of guys you like to root for. And there’s nothing that will spur the entrepreneurial spirit — another necessity, from the commission’s point of view — quite like a stirring story.

First of all, given that about 150 new businesses are registered in the province every week, it doesn’t appear to be that difficult to start a business in Nova Scotia. Admittedly, starting a business and having a successful new business are two entirely different things, but why the heck should we desire “a 50 per cent increase in startups in Nova Scotia” if we’re not tracking how many startups are successful and how many fail? The fact is most new businesses — and especially most new small businesses — fail.

My sense is that “encouraging entrepreneurship” is the counterpart of “breaking unions” and a replacement for “paying people who work for existing businesses decently.” Moreover, in the name of a supposed “prosperous future,” we don’t adequately warn young people about the downsides of starting a business and failing — bankruptcy, the emotional and health toll, the broken families, the destroyed credit rating, the potential loss of a house, and more.

In any event, when Demont wrote that we should “support folks like the Bishop brothers,” he was speaking about specific support:

Nova Scotia Business Inc. has ponied up $2,500 to help them relaunch their website and provided another $5,000 grant for the trade show.

I don’t mean any disrespect for the Bishops — hey, good luck to anyone starting a business — but seriously, What The Actual Fuck? It cost me about $3,000 to launch this website and at least $3,000 more to promote it, and Nova Scotia Fucking Business Inc. wasn’t knocking down my door to cover those costs. (And yes, the Halifax Examiner has subscribers across Canada, in the US, and even in Europe, and so is exporting product.) Those expenses and more were covered by my savings. Surely a couple of golf pros could pull together their own damn startup costs. Why do I feel like this “hey, we’ll pay for your website!” plan was hatched over a round of golf?

Simple Rituals Skincare
Halifax
Nature of business: “I make and sell skincare.”
Partner: Angela Morriscey
Morriscey is a delightful person I seem to run into everywhere. She was a server at a few restaurants, and recently was a manager at the Brasserie. She didn’t respond to my DM asking what’s up with the new business; it looks like she hasn’t been active on Twitter for a while, so I don’t think she’s purposefully ignoring me.

Maritime Home Improvement Limited
300 Union Street, Saint John
Nature of business: “Home improvement retail sales.”
Co-CEOs: James D. Irving and Robert K. Irving
The Irvings are everywhere.

Trader Corporation
British Columbia
Nature of business: “Digital automotive marketplace and advertising platform.”
This is a corporate amalgamation of the Autotrader, Trucktrader, CCP Media,  and Trader.com.

Head Start Tennis Limited
Halifax
The company’s registration still names only the lawyer who filed the paperwork, but it has a website naming Jamie Power and Ted Misztela as co-owners.

Shop Sweet and Sultry Fashion
Bedford
Partner: Natalie El-Qaoud
El-Qaoud is a commerce student, an aspiring lawyer, and a bodybuilder.

9902848 Canada Inc.
Mississauga
Nature of business: “Export lobster.”
President: Shengren Zheng
I predict that the “let’s send all our lobster to China!” thing is going to end badly.

John’s Lunch Incorporated
Dartmouth
President: Strato Baltas
Baltas has dissolved the partnership that operated John’s Lunch and has reregistered the business as a  limited liability corporation. I’m going to use this as an excuse to say something unpopular and potentially inflammatory: John’s Lunch sucks. It’s a grease pit. Baltas uses frozen fries instead of cutting his own potatoes. I don’t know, but I doubt the fish is even local, as by the time it reaches the table it’s uninspired and limp. I live in Dartmouth, and if I’m going out for fish & chips, my first pick is Evan’s at Alderney Landing. My second pick (which I make more often because Evan’s doesn’t have beer and closes at 7pm) is the MicMac Tavern. Between the MicMac and John’s sits a long list of options, including dumpster diving and starvation. Dog that place sucks.

Steam Space
North Street, Halifax
Nature of business: “A mobile steam tent urban spa offering health and wellness events, retreats and treatments.”
It’s now official: the North End is gentrified.

AAM International Import and Export 
Halifax
Nature of business: “Import and export, network and security wiring installation.”
Partner: Ahmed Bida Alkali
This month, Alkali retires from Bell, where he worked for 28 years. That kind of job security is long gone.

Nature’s Cure Dog Training Ltd.
Merigomish
President: Evan G. Doggett
It’s a law of the universe that a guy named Doggett has to be a dog trainer.

JSA Sport Architecture Inc.
Vancouver
Nature of business: “Sport architecture and consulting firm.”
President: Robert Johnston
Rut-roh. Bob Johnston designs stadiums. His past work includes the Moncton Stadium, the stadium in Ajax, Ontario named for a grocery chain, the redesign of the stadium in Regina named for a potash company (the graphic above), the soccer stadium in Hamilton named for a coffee chain, and a stadium at York University named for a fucking bank, among others.  Johnston describes his mission as follows:

JSA Sport is recognized both nationally and internationally as a leading a pioneering for in Games facilities planning, the design of sports facilities that meet the requirements of staging international sports and Games events, as well as the training and performance demands of professional and amateur athletes at training facilities, recreation centers, and competitive event venues worldwide. 

As an international leader in sport architecture, JSA Sport is considered a world-class authority on the programming, design, and construction of sport, recreation, high performance sports training, sports medicine, wellness, and kinesiology research facilities. 

Large, expensive, and complicated, high performance sports facilities are quite challenging projects. Many expectations, including those of athletes, must be exceeded. To achieve success these project’s demand exceptional effort from an entire project team. 

That begs the question: What is he doing in Nova Scotia?

I called JSA to ask what they’re up to, but Johnston is in Mexico, so not available for comment.

But I have a not-too-crazy conspiracy theory: The port just filled in all that land in the Bedford Basin around Africville and is talking about moving the Ceres Terminal to Dartmouth. That will “free up” something like 400 acres of land adjacent to the Bedford Highway and the MacKay Bridge, which, I’m guessing, will soon be the suggested site of a stadium.

The Trove Boutique
217 Herring Cove Road
Partners: Emily Mosher and Kye Dorey
Mosher and Dorey opened and closed the Zion’s Gate Boutique on Williams Lake Road last year — “It’s half clothing store, half museum,” Mosher told Allison Saunders at The Coast. The new location, the former Water & Wine space on Herring Cove Road, is probably better placed to catch passersby’s attention. (I’m troubled by that apostrophe; maybe a grammarian can comment.)

Words by Whittall
Nature of business: “speechwriting, strategic communications planning and advice writing .”
Partner: Debra Whittall
Whitall was a former reporter at CFRB in Toronto, then went over to the dark side and became a PR person for Ontario’s ministry of Transportation and then for the Attorney General. According to her LinkedIn page, since April 2015 she’s been “slowly relaxing” in retirement in Pleasanton, but evidently retirement is kinda boring so she’s back at it.

Atlantic Chip Sport Timing Inc.
Dartmouth
Partner: Troy Musseau
Musseau is a social services investigator with the government, and a runner. According to Canada Running Magazine:

His inspiration to get into the niche business of race timing occurred at the well-known Bluenose Marathon when he ran across the mats that were laid across the road to electronically track a runner’s progress and time. “That’s cool,” Musseau remembers.

So he bought the company. Life should be so simple and good for all of us.

Scotian Smoke
1858 Albermarle Street, Halifax
Nature of business: “Vape Smoke shop.”
Partners: Everett Macneil and Kyle Shipley.
Saw this place on Albermarle, the street behind Scotia Square, the other day. There used to be a really shitty bar in the space. I loved that place.

Lazy Bear Brewing
Smiths Cove
Brewmaster Erin Norman, her husband Andy Norman, and their dog Abby (above) have started Lazy Bear Brewing.

Stellar Boar Productions Inc.
Halifax
Nature of business: “audio-visual production.”
President: Curtis Rioux
Rioux was a writer, animator, and project manager with Cartoon Conrad, where he worked on such projects as Max & Midnight (seen above). Now he’s setting off on his own.