Survivors in their own words: ‘police told me I pretty much asked to be raped’

After reporting on Carrie Low‘s experience and the story of a young woman who reported she was drugged at The Dome before being sexually assaulted, we invited survivors of sexual assault to share their experiences and how the police handled their investigations. We assured them anonymity. This is the first in an ongoing series.  See the entire series here.

When I was in high school, I was raped by one of my friends. I am adding in he was a friend because it matters later on. I was only 15 and was very confused about what it all meant, and the impact it would still leave almost 10 years later. 

I reported it to the police through my high school. I first met with a male police officer. I asked one of my friends if she could come with me, as it was really hard for me to talk to any man alone, police or not. He asked me standard questions, and my memory was sad but foggy, due to trauma, but I remembered the core details. 

Once I had finished telling in graphic detail what had happened, he told me that he didn’t think anything would come of it. Said that there was no evidence, and by me going to hang out with him alone, and because we were friends, I probably sent him the wrong message. Pretty much telling me boys will be boys. 

After that I was completely broken, having to traumatize myself all over again. And on top of that, I was being harassed at school by my rapist, his friends, and girlfriend. I was terrified for my safety, and felt like I had nowhere to turn. BECAUSE OF POLICE who could not be bothered. 

Because police were so careless in trying to investigate this, my rapist got away with it, and multiple other rapes, and traumatized me every day walking the halls until he finally graduated, and I was rid of him. However, before he graduated, he held a knife to my throat at a party to “teach me a lesson” for talking to police. 

This man could have killed me if he wanted. And all because police told me I pretty much asked to be raped. I have been sexually assaulted by more than one man. On different occasions. And I have never reported another assault. I have no faith in police. If my rapist had been charged, investigated, it wouldn’t have repaired the damage. But he would have been gone. 

I know like most women, rapes are never taken as seriously as they should be. It leaves an impact for the rest of your life. You’re left to deal with it alone. Because women and men who are assaulted are too afraid to speak up because police don’t do enough, and they NEED to do better. 

If you are a survivor of sexual assault and would like to share your experiences with how the police handled your investigation, we’d be happy to hear from you. Anonymity is assured. Email survivor@halifaxexaminer.ca.